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Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Naming of Weapons...

Let's be real. I still can't get over people who call weapons "her", or name them after wives, girlfriends, models - even the hot chick down the block. Of course, this is not so with the gays, but still, same concept - just replace "her" with "he".

Folks, the business of killing is NOT a business for lovers, unless you are Bonnie & Clyde, and you seen how that ended up.

No, the business of killing is a BEASTLY business, so one's weapon should have a BEASTLY name. Like Rover, or Rex, or Smaug. Basher. Smasher. Even Spot.

Think about it this way; would you make LOVE to your weapon? No? Why? That's right - it's a vicious and cruel lover - if it is even capable of love. Even when it pretends to be a lover, it's still awkward, perilous, or at the very least, unpleasant.

I could not imagine making the beast with two backs with my nylon sack of bricks, or with my logging chain laden & dripping with Master Locks.

Your weapon is a beast - you should feed it regularly. ONLY make love to it if it so desires.

Always remember though - if you name a weapon, remember it's purpose.

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