1. Complete this sentence. I think Madonna, Prince & Twisted Sister are?Jerry Falwell: HAWT! WOOO HOOO! Well, except for Prince - she's a black chick, so I only go half-stock.
2. When Jerry Falwell goes to McDonald's he orders?Jerry's Kids: A black coffee, and a bran muffin - because when you're full of shit, you gotta start the day out with the big guns. Then I get pissed that they don't have bran muffins, and proceed to punch a Mexican baby in the face.
3. What kind of car do you drive?Tom & Jerry: An ambulance. You'd be surprised how many hit-and-run victims cry out for Jesus when they are clinging to life.
4. How do you take your coffee?Jerry Curl: Black - like I said before. I take a lot of things black; money, coffee, limos, hatred... but not women.
5. What's your biggest vice?Popped Her Jerry: Did you ever read that Hustler story that I sued Larry Flint over? Yeah... let's just say that I accidentally wrote one of my write-in stories on my own letterhead. OOPS. I'm just mad that he took credit for coming up with it on his own.
6. Would you ever host Saturday Night Live?Jerry JOOS: Only after they fired all the sodomites and Jews.
7. Who's the most dangerous person in the U.S.?Scary Jerry: Larry Flint. Hell on wheels, I tell ya!
8. Many people hate you. How does that feel?Comin' Forth To Jerry Me Home: Confused. Why, I love them all like I love my own mother.
9. What do you think of Miami Vice?Hairy Jerry: That show with the infamous homosexual Don Johnson? What, he's straight? Mark my words - that's a lie.
10. Who's the sexiest woman around?Jerry Juice: Anita Bryant. Why, I'd squeeze her oranges all day, and gobble the dribbling juices! Later, I'd clean her singing pipes with my cartoonishly over-sized pipe cleaner - if you know what I mean!
11. Does your toilet paper roll from the top or the bottom?Jerry Rorrs (brought to you in Japanese): From the top. Sometimes, I find from the bottom works well too. I might just start switching it up - surprise the old lady, ya know. She always thought I was ply-curious.
12. What do you like on your pizza?Jerry's Pizza: Orphan tears and immigrant babies. Already-born immigrant babies - NO to abortion!
13. Which do you prefer... the new coke or coke classic?Are You Jerry'ing: I actually prefer bathroom coke, with a stranger named Julio.
14. How did the devil last tempt you?Little Jerry: I already said that I got half-stock for that black trollop Prince, didn't I?
15. What do you think of head cheese?Jerry the Dairy Farmer: Oral sex is a sin, and any cheese derived from it is straight from the pits of HELL!