Please, feel free to smash a BitCoin in the face - and send me it's teeth: 1JNGXVUqMxGV9mrfD9eWCtfaj2FHYdGhBj

Monday, April 28, 2014

Why The Republicans Lost In 2012, And Will Continue To Lose Forever


Then Along Came Daddy...

God Emperor Trump - May His Glorious Trumpenreich Last a 1000 Generations of Man

Daddy 2016 succeeded in breaking the Republican curse of attracting idiots & other assorted degenerates, and, in the current field of wide-eyed psychos, retarded cold-warriors, and bible-thumping hypocrites, put another Republican in the White House. Long live Daddy 2016(TM), long live the Trumpenreich!

You Can Now Return to Reading This Old Piece of Shit...

Some people think the Republican candidates are just spouting what the party wants them to say - thus ruining their chances of ever taking the White House back again. NO. I honestly think the candidates are saying what THEY want to say.

Hell, some of them could be bound & gagged and STILL be reprehensible scumfucks - regular silent movie villains. All the ones who don't say disgusting shit are just simply dumber than a sack of wet hammers.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Shit Tech Support: ALL Users Are Stupid Ep. 1 - Burn Issues

Crud O'Matic: Clandestine Lesbian Tech Support, this is Crud O'Matic speaking. How may I help you today - Sir or Madam?

Donnie Wallbanger: Yes, I have a Clandestine Lesbian 21' flat ass monitor - model number OICU812 - and it's having issues with holding images...

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Honest Body Imagery Without Photoshop

I'm ugly, and proud of it.

I got a body like a chainsaw murder victim, where the killer got bored half way through, and just left the job half done.

I got a face that looks like an pound of rotten hamburger, complete with maggots, that a 60 year old alcoholic took a massive shit on, some punk kids spray painted, a pyromaniac set on fire, and a Samoan firefighter stomped out with a spiked jackboot.

My hair? Imagine Scary Gary's head weeds, only thicker, more tangly, redder, going gray around the temples, and I had barbwire extensions grafted into my scalp on top of it.

My facial hair has two modes - completely shaven that makes my head look tiny, and full-on homeless beard. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I make Kurt Cobain's autopsy photos look sexy.


Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Top Secret $50 Psychostick Song - WORTH EVERY GODDAMN PENNY.

This song is so goddamn metal, that I gave myself brain damage from head banging too hard.

It was soon followed by me shitting my pants, falling down a flight of stairs, crushing the family dog, spitting in a girl scout's face and stealing her cookies, re-crucifying Jesus with a nail gun, and planning to cheat on my taxes.

At least I have the sweet ass Steven Hawking setup now. Using your mouth to control a computer that talks to people - pass the pimp cup, nigga! Star Trek has arrived!