One bright and sunny Jackson County Missouri day, Brett Keane grew angry at his wife for ordering mushrooms on his welfare pizza. Enraged, he punched her into the next county, and after a long and frivolous search, couldn't find her. As he was thumbing a ride to the welfare office to strike her from his case, a sucker Christian gave him a ride.
Sucker Christian listened to his sob story, agreed to pay his rent, then Brett found gawd on the spot. After finding his wife, and making sure the Jackson county courts put another notch in his record for domestic abuse, he arrived at his trailer home with his battered wife.
Picking barbed wire out of his wife's hair, Brett announced that he was a Christian and that she's one too. When she objected and said that they were both atheists, Brett punched her into the next state. Then Brett went to his mom's house and kicked his own mother's teeth in for good measure.