The use of a Diploma...

Some people say that school is a waste of time, and that diplomas are just worthless pieces of paper. I use my diploma for all kinds of things. I've compiled a neat little list to show you just how WORTH-FULL your diploma can be.

Note: These ideas are MINE. I will SUE YOUR ASS if you try to use them yourself.

• As a paperweight (it came in a nice case)

• As a dust shield (it collects dust instead of what I'm dust-guarding)

• Something nice to look at from an angle

• For testing ball point pens

• Once or twice, as a massive tooter for banging a rail of Peruvian flake

• As a makeshift dart board

• Once I ran out of toilet paper, so emergency asswipe

• As a scary alligator on Halloween (since it's in a green folding case)

• A Frisbee (which really didn't work too well)

• An AWESOME hat! It's smart.

• For shielding my eyes from bright light

• A conversation partner (sometimes it gets lonely in my head)

• A dog chew toy. Unfortunately, he didn't like the taste of knowledge.

...and here Grandpa told me that diplomas were useless and for faggots. He just didn't know how to use one. It's ok, Grandpa. I understand that you old people have problems with technology.