Why The Republicans Lost In 2012, And Will Continue To Lose Forever

UPDATE!

Then Along Came Daddy...

God Emperor Trump - May His Glorious Trumpenreich Last a 1000 Generations of Man

Daddy 2016 succeeded in breaking the Republican curse of attracting idiots & other assorted degenerates, and, in the current field of wide-eyed psychos, retarded cold-warriors, and bible-thumping hypocrites, put another Republican in the White House. Long live Daddy 2016^(TM), long live the Trumpenreich!

You Can Now Return to Reading This Old Piece of Shit...

Some people think the Republican candidates are just spouting what the party wants them to say - thus ruining their chances of ever taking the White House back again. NO. I honestly think the candidates are saying what THEY want to say.

Hell, some of them could be bound & gagged and STILL be reprehensible scumfucks - regular silent movie villains. All the ones who don't say disgusting shit are just simply dumber than a sack of wet hammers.

Shit Tech Support: ALL Users Are Stupid Ep. 1 - Burn Issues

Crud O'Matic: Clandestine Lesbian Tech Support, this is Crud O'Matic speaking. How may I help you today - Sir or Madam?

Donnie Wallbanger: Yes, I have a Clandestine Lesbian 21' flat ass monitor - model number OICU812 - and it's having issues with holding images...

Honest Body Imagery Without Photoshop

I'm ugly, and proud of it.

I got a body like a chainsaw murder victim, where the killer got bored half way through, and just left the job half done.

I got a face that looks like an pound of rotten hamburger, complete with maggots, that a 60 year old alcoholic took a massive shit on, some punk kids spray painted, a pyromaniac set on fire, and a Samoan firefighter stomped out with a spiked jackboot.

My hair? Imagine Scary Gary's head weeds, only thicker, more tangly, redder, going gray around the temples, and I had barbwire extensions grafted into my scalp on top of it.

My facial hair has two modes - completely shaven that makes my head look tiny, and full-on homeless beard. NO EXCEPTIONS.

I make Kurt Cobain's autopsy photos look sexy.

MARRY ME, GODDAMMIT!

Top Secret $50 Psychostick Song - WORTH EVERY GODDAMN PENNY.

This song is so goddamn metal, that I gave myself brain damage from head banging too hard.

It was soon followed by me shitting my pants, falling down a flight of stairs, crushing the family dog, spitting in a girl scout's face and stealing her cookies, re-crucifying Jesus with a nail gun, and planning to cheat on my taxes.

At least I have the sweet ass Steven Hawking setup now. Using your mouth to control a computer that talks to people - pass the pimp cup, nigga! Star Trek has arrived!

Morality Mountain: Mongoloid Christian Diapers and the Atheist Professor of DOOM!!!!11!!1!

Holy sweet fucking baby Jesus nipple tassles, Batman! There's an atheist professor at college! THERE'S A BALROG IN THE WOODPILE!

We NEED to take his job away RIGHT NAO! He's evil and he's persecuting me by daring to have an opinion OTHER than mine, or one from my approved list of opinions!

He attacks me at night with all his evidence, and Birkenstocks... and Patchouli.

Wait... Patchouli - I THINK HE MIGHT BE A LESBIAN! GODDAMN TRICKY SODOM WHORE got a sex change while we weren't looking - and became a mildly attractive man that I lost my 60 y/o virginity to. ON A HAM SANDWICH!

Well, I say grab your pitchforks and get ready to decimate and ruin his life! BURN his house down! KICK his puppy through a flaming TV! RAPE his cat with a BRICK - EVIL HEATHEN CAT!! RRRRRR!!! It's probably GHEYYYYY!

TORTURE! PAIN! PERSECUTE! Because I'm being persecuted by this non-believer being able to live his life and hold down a job. Not to mention he knows more than I will ever hope to - I watched too much paint dry as a kid, and the fumes got to me!

Us Christianians HAVE to persecute everyone else, because if we don't - THEY START SAYING HAPPY HOLIDAYS AT MACY'S. IT'S OUR RIGHT!

SICK!

http://www.topix.com/forum/city/jackson-ky/T8NF677I06FVOSAMU/

MEANWHILE, in Arizona...

In Arizona, it seems that you are only allowed to have two dildos, max, in your home:

http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/arizona

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

What happens if the whole family wants their own dildos? OH NO, NOT IN ARIZONA! This is AMERICA, goddammit! What about my car in every garage, chicken in every pot, and dildo in every drawer?

SCREW THESE COMMIES, wanting us to SHARE dildos! You know how creepy it is to share a dildo with the family? Don't lecture ME about perversion, when YOU want me to share a dildo with the family!

Besides, WE are good god-fearing Capitalists - like our LORD Jesus Christ - and believe that dildos are covered under our personal property rights!

Do you think Jesus would have shared a dildo with God? Could you imagine such a conversation? WELL, IN THE COMMUNIST STATE OF ARIZONA, God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost would have to pack a double-donger and a single bulbous head throbber in their travel bag!

ARIZONA WANTS GOD & JESUS TO GRIND THE DOUBLE-DONGER! TOGETHER!! ASS-TO-ASS!!! GASP!

Get ENRAGED, good god-fearing citizens of Arizona, and DEMAND that your legislature allow more than TWO FAKE POSER DICKS PER HOUSEHOLD!